“After every storm, there is a rainbow of hope.”

“For the LORD God is a sun and shield: the LORD will give grace and glory: no good thing will he withhold from them that walk uprightly.” -Psalms 84:11

We’ve endured endometriosis, numerous procedures, a miscarriage and IVF treatment but today we are able to testify about our miracle baby girl! Zoë Adele!

For as long as I could remember my cycle was irregular and very painful, to the point I had to always carry some type of pill with me to ease the pain. There were times when I would curl up in my bed and cry and just pray the pain would go away. I thought the debilitating pain was normal for every female. One of those days while I was curled up in my bed, I asked God if I would have to feel this pain for the rest of my life? I didn’t realize that what I was experiencing was not normal.

On one of my trips to NJ from MA to visit my then fiancé Wes, I woke up early to head back home and was getting ready when I had the worst pain I had ever felt. I had never felt that type of pain in my life! I started throwing up and I couldn’t stand up straight due to the pain in my lower right abdomen. I thought my appendix had ruptured so I headed to the hospital. When I finally arrived to the ER they told me I had a ruptured cyst on my ovary. This was the beginning of many tests and procedures we would encounter in our journey.

In 2007 I was 24 years old and diagnosed with endometriosis. My doctor found a cyst the size of grapefruit on my right ovary. He explained that this meant that I would be losing that ovary. That diagnosis rocked my world. I remember asking my doctor if I would ever be able to carry a baby of my own and he said there would be a possibility I would not. I remember leaving the office, getting in my car and crying.  

My family and I decide to pray it out as a family. I recall this moment as if it was yesterday. I remember that day was a Friday and I had service at my local church. One of my friends had just given birth to her baby boy and as I held him in my arms I asked God, “Would I be able to have one of my own?”. It was in that moment that God’s peace came over me and I determined in my heart that whatever God’s will was for us, to be parents, we were open to it. Even if that meant IVF, adoption or whatever He had planned for us!

God put it in the hearts of people who didn’t know I was about to lose my right ovary, to start praying and interceding for me. I went in to have my surgery and miraculously God allowed my right ovary to be saved! When I went to get my post op ultrasound done the tech told me that she didn’t even know how this doctor was able to save my ovary because the size the cyst was so large. I knew how! It was GOD!

Due to that procedure I had to get an epidural and the incision that was supposed to be smaller ended up being like a C-section scar. When I met with my doctor post op, he mentioned that endometriosis causes scar tissue and that I was at a stage 3 out of 4. This could not be seen on ultrasounds but only after going in would they have been able to know. This meant that I had significant scar tissue that was forming a web-like party inside of me! This web-like tissue was creating one big mush inside of my uterus.

Let’s fast forward to 2015 when my husband and I began talking about having children.  I decided to see a doctor after 2 procedures and I then found out I had yet another cyst on my ovary. After having it removed a few months later I started feeling as if I was pregnant. I went to work on a Monday, August 17th, 2015 and I took a pregnancy test and it came back positive!  I wanted to make sure and I bought a second one and I was definitely pregnant!!!

I was so excited that we were finally having a baby but not only that, I was thrilled to know I was able to get pregnant on my own without any assistance due to my endometriosis. I was so grateful to be pregnant.  A few days after telling Wesley that he was going to be the best dad, I started to bleed. We went to see the doctor and he said the baby had a strong heartbeat and we were able to see and hear that heartbeat! Our hearts were full and relieved!  

I will never forget the date August 28, 2015. This day I was not feeling well and I began to have severe abdominal pain around lunch time. I knew something wasn’t right. I called my husband Wes so he could meet me at the doctor’s office. That’s when we were told that there was no heartbeat. In that same line he mentioned that these things happen and that there was nothing we could have done differently to prevent it. He assured us that we would get pregnant right away. I believed him. I was heartbroken but so full of hope at the same time because I was able to get pregnant naturally. I didn’t want it to be a big deal but my heart was hurting after this experience. That same day I was supposed to meet with my friend to go dress shopping for her wedding but I had to make the call to cancel. I was so distraught. I just stayed home, in bed and cried the whole night.

Years prior I had determined that when it came time for us to start having babies that I would not become depressed or desperate.  That same Sunday after the miscarriage God had placed in my pastor’s heart to ask any couples that were trying to have a baby to come to the altar. God knew I needed to let it go at the altar. He knew I needed Him present and He made sure that I felt His presence in a tangible way.

I recall being in the car one day on the way to church and my husband and I were having an intense conversation, I can’t even remember what it was about but I just remember in the middle of it saying “and I’m not pregnant” while crying. I really took the doctor’s words literally. I really thought that I would be pregnant right after my miscarriage. Month after month, pregnancy test after pregnancy test and I was still not pregnant.

During that time every show I would watch had a scene with a miscarriage. It would randomly come up and I would just start to cry.  From time to time I would think how many months the baby would have been. I, like many expectant mothers, downloaded an app to track the pregnancy. I deleted it from my phone but the emails kept reminding me of the stages the baby would have been in. The reminders were daunting and sad.

In the beginning of 2016 we went to my OB-GYN and due to my health history he suggested that we should go to a fertility clinic. I was excited because I believed this was it! God was going to use the knowledge and understanding that He had given these doctors to help us have our baby! In my mind I thought I would just walk in there and I would be pregnant right away. I soon learned that it was just not that simple.This started months and months of hurdles, procedures, emotional rollercoaster and spiritual testing. Through it all I saw how God had everything orchestrated. God would send people to tell me they were praying for me and that they were praying for the baby God had promised us. People that I knew only God could have sent them. People that knew nothing about what we were going through.

The first hurdle we encountered was whether or not In-Vitro fertilization also known as IVF was God’s will for us.  I was conflicted with the scripture that said, “Your eyes saw my embryo, and on your scroll every day was written that was being formed for me, before any one of them had yet happened.” -Psalm 139:16 , but I understood that in order for a baby to grow it needs my womb. Some best explained it to me this way, in order for a seed to grow it needs to be planted. The embryo needed to be planted in my uterus. Once I understood this I felt peace in my heart. We went ahead and gave the doctors the green light.

One of the other hurdles we encountered was that I had yet another ovarian cyst that needed to be removed. After it was removed then I thought that we would be pregnant soon, but I was informed that I had polyps in my uterus. I’ve never heard of polyps in any of my diagnosis before but now I had to have 2 separate procedures to remove them. At this point God just placed in my heart to take this process one appointment at a time. When it came time for the embryo to be transfered my progesterone levels were low and I had to freeze the embryo to regulate my numbers. Once again we were waiting.  

My numbers had regulated and the day finally arrived and our embryo was transferred. We were so excited and feeling so blessed, overwhelmed and anxious to know if the embryo had attached. On March 29th, 2017 we found out that we were pregnant!  After many tearful prayers and intercession, God had answered the desires of our hearts. We were pregnant and awaiting the birth of our baby girl!

I am so grateful that through this process of IVF I had a group of women that prayed for me, cried with me, listened to me, cheered me on and some even administered the injections when my hubby couldn’t. I had pastors that I sincerely believe God sent to us for such a time as this. God was aware that I needed pastors that knew how to pray for me and my hubby. They counseled us, guided us, prayed for us and cried with us! Our family supported us and believed with us!  I learned that God places the right people to pray and be alongside us during the hardest times of our lives.

After a blessed pregnancy our baby girl made her way into this world on December 10th, 2017 (a week overdue) at 9lbs and 4oz and measuring 21in.  She was a strong and healthy baby! She is full of life and super energetic. She is now walking, loves books, kisses everything, is now counting, and recently started to learn her colors.  She brings us so much joy! If we had to do it all over again we would because we know God would be holding our hands through it all.

For some infertility is something that they go through alone. I know God allowed me to go through this for a reason and I don’t want to hold back what he has done because there is someone who needs to hear that God has the desires of your heart in mind.  You may not be holding your baby in your arms yet, but He knows that your desire is to be a mommy.

– Candy Batista

“So be truly glad. There is wonderful joy ahead, even though you must endure many trials for a little while. 7 These trials will show that your faith is genuine. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold—though your faith is far more precious than mere gold. So when your faith remains strong through many trials, it will bring you much praise and glory and honor on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the whole world.”- 1 Peter 1:6-7 

Below are some videos that might be helpful to you.

Endometriosis

https://youtu.be/AjymopQ6ewY

 

IVF (In vitro fertilization)

https://youtu.be/Fjichy747Gk